How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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