Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
