I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
