she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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