Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
