Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
