I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
