nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
