There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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