cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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