Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
