so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
