i jhust puked up my retainher.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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