Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
