'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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