Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
