i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
