wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
