real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
