weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
