More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
