And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
