good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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