There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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