new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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