im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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