ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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