He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
