so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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