i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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