Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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