Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
