I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
