okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we're so committed to being not committed
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
