If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
