I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
