you told grandpa to call you daddy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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