I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
