your parents love me but you hate me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
