Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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