Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
