she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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