Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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