im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
