U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
