You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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