I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
