I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
