Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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