BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
