I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
