Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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